Posts tagged advice

if your ass is itchy, it’s usually ‘cause it’s shitty.

try washing….baby wipes aren’t just for babies. keeps you from rummaging in public, incurring stink eye, (rimshot, heheh), and increasing your incredibly decreasing chances of ever getting laid.

don’t even get me started on the influences of bad personal ass hygiene on butt fur, pants and sheets…but(t), boy, do i have some thoughts and tips on that. don’t make me get ‘em out…just get your shit together and no one gets hurt.

you’re welcome.

children…never take for granted your cartilage and joints. they don’t last forever and if you do extreme sports, you will live and die by those swords.

piece of advice: swift walking, stair climbing, yoga, pilates, happy dancing and safe energetic sex will be the only exercise you will ever need. if you do these things, you may be able to continue enjoying those activities for the rest of your life. don’t and risk broken bones, dislocations, arthritis, disk displacements, nerve damage, hernias and joint replacements. fun!

being bionic might sound awesome, but getting there is hell.

while skateboarding, martial arts, kickboxing, pumping iron, rock climbing, biking and the like are awesome, passionate sports…eventually you will probably damage something…or seven. thank goodness i stopped short of skydiving, which was a long standing unfulfilled ambition. i probably am much better off for it.

i did used to kick ass though…. and i will again since i have quite a lot of enforced recovery time to culminate my cunning plans.

stay healthy, have and do a little bit of everything in moderation and respect your body…it’s the only one you get. otherwise you’ve gotta be willing to sacrifice physically for your passions for the rest of your life.

and…always remember that replaced bionics, (and most plastic surgery implants…thank god i never went there!), need replacing every ten years or so, so unless you’re a surgery junkie, it sucks.

that is all…

you’re welcome.

summer feet:

if you show ‘em, keep them clean, moisturised, trimmed, etc.

socks with sandals don’t solve the problem, it creates other ones.

wash your socks and shoes and do not wear them again until fully dried out.

they make sprays for shoes and to freshen up feet…at the end of the day, if you’re not a night showerer, clean the feet, maybe use a freshening, energising foot spray and moisturise…we’ll all thank you.

chipped toe nail polish is nasty…sometimes shit happens, but if you’re letting it remove itself chip by chip, don’t…they make remover for a reason.

i have news for you guys, toe foot hair can be trimmed and should be & if you can’t trim your nails straight, file ‘em a bit…no chick wants to be gauged by your hooves at night.

same thing can be said to for girls….super-long thorny toe shivs are repellant.

cracked heels, sort ‘em out… they build up dirt in the cracks that never comes out; pumice & foot files are our friends.

and finally, sock toe funk/gunge needs to be removed in the bath, shower and every time you remove your socks and shoes… cheesy toes - just say no!

you’re welcome.