Posts tagged wtf

if your ass is itchy, it’s usually ‘cause it’s shitty.

try washing….baby wipes aren’t just for babies. keeps you from rummaging in public, incurring stink eye, (rimshot, heheh), and increasing your incredibly decreasing chances of ever getting laid.

don’t even get me started on the influences of bad personal ass hygiene on butt fur, pants and sheets…but(t), boy, do i have some thoughts and tips on that. don’t make me get ‘em out…just get your shit together and no one gets hurt.

you’re welcome.

children…never take for granted your cartilage and joints. they don’t last forever and if you do extreme sports, you will live and die by those swords.

piece of advice: swift walking, stair climbing, yoga, pilates, happy dancing and safe energetic sex will be the only exercise you will ever need. if you do these things, you may be able to continue enjoying those activities for the rest of your life. don’t and risk broken bones, dislocations, arthritis, disk displacements, nerve damage, hernias and joint replacements. fun!

being bionic might sound awesome, but getting there is hell.

while skateboarding, martial arts, kickboxing, pumping iron, rock climbing, biking and the like are awesome, passionate sports…eventually you will probably damage something…or seven. thank goodness i stopped short of skydiving, which was a long standing unfulfilled ambition. i probably am much better off for it.

i did used to kick ass though…. and i will again since i have quite a lot of enforced recovery time to culminate my cunning plans.

stay healthy, have and do a little bit of everything in moderation and respect your body…it’s the only one you get. otherwise you’ve gotta be willing to sacrifice physically for your passions for the rest of your life.

and…always remember that replaced bionics, (and most plastic surgery implants…thank god i never went there!), need replacing every ten years or so, so unless you’re a surgery junkie, it sucks.

that is all…

you’re welcome.